Sometimes I don’t wanna be a mother !

I know it sounds harsh and cruel.

But yes,this is what comes to my mind sometimes.

I used to be an independent,working woman who didn’t wanted to stop at anything.The pregnancy was unplanned but not unprepared for.

I always wanted to be a mother.Sooner or later I was going to be one.And I wanted to give no excuse to manage the motherhood thing all by myself.

I wanted to be the perfect mother for my lil one and so I quit my job to take care of my teeny bopper.

I mean who can not fall in love with the cuteness overloaded baby cub.

First came the ‘baby blues’.I didn’t know why I was so sad even when the most precious thing on earth was in my arms.

The constant crying seemed to never end.Everyone just kept insisting I breastfed the baby everytime it cried.

And the breastfeeding never seemed to end.I was either feeding it or I was a leaking faucet.

I just hated everyone around me.The pampering I got while I was pregnant was all gone.

I was becoming insecure of my husband as well.

And for no reason at all I was crying!!

It took counseling from my doctor and tons of support from my family, but I was back to normal in a few days.

Things settled down gradually and I was in tune with my baby and its habits.

But,again the feelings came back when my baby started crawling and walking.

When my husband is off to work its just me and my baby.So,the baby is overtly attached to me,like an extended organ.

The baby needs constant supervision,the fear that it might swallow something or just electrocute itself gave me chills.

The mess the baby makes and the time you take to clean it up making sure there’s nothing harmful around is tiring.

Plus you have to keep running behind the tiny tot to feed.Dont forget the temper tantrums.

Bathing and even pooping in leisure is a far fetched dream.

No matter,how baby proofed your place is,still the tiny tyke will find something or the other that will give you goosebumps.

Forget privacy.I stopped feeling as a human unit.I’m a zombie.Foregt makeup and feeling sexy,Im just a huge mess.

I really miss the old life sometimes.

All this gets to me at times and tears just roll out.

But a tiny gesture of affection,a simple smile at you or a teeny kiss vanishes it all out.

Its okay to feel that way,I’m human after all.

Not everyone has it together all the time.


But just a tiny gestue of love like a


Hospital bag-the check list


The anticipation of the new baby is overwhelming.

And as the eager moms that we are,we love to be prepared on every front.

The hospital bag is like a reality check that the beautiful journey of pregnancy is about to end.

When do you get the bag ready?

Now,I would like to be prepared with the shopping stuff atleast a month before the due date.Not only cause we enter the so called ‘term period’ after the completion of the 36th week but also because it becomes increasingly difficult to walk about with the TERM tummy and admit it,we are already easily tired now!

So,the ideal time would be after the completion of 36th week.

As the baby can pop out anytime now!

What do I fill the bag with?

#The Mommy stuff

All the stuff the new mommy is gonna need during the hospital stay.

1.Maternity night gowns/nighties

Not only these are breast feeding friendly but also the ones with buttons on the entire length have an added advantage if you ought to have a c.section.

Helps in checking the wound soakage and also to perform dressing over the wound.

2.Sanitary pads

While some hospitals provide their own pads,a few don’t.

The immediate postpartum period you have considerable amount of bleeding.So make sure the ones you buy are larger sizes.

3.Comforters, bedsheets,towels

Although the hospitals these days are equal to star hotels providing everything you need,still having stuff of your own will be comforting and useful in ways you wouldn’t imagine.

4.The toiletries

Everything you love using for yourself.

Be it a comb or shampoo or facewash.

5.Maternity clothing and lingerie

You would wanna buy brasserie suitable for nursing and nursing pads to prevent the milk staining the clothing.

When it comes to the clothing I like to customise them before hand.

It helps a lot getting loose clothing stitched with hooks or a simple zip to help breast feed the new born.

Even if you are gonna wear the clothing on your way from hospital to home,you would be surprised how much its gonna be useful.

Customise the same during the entire breastfeeding period.


#The Baby stuff

This is the fun part!

Not only cause you have been waiting for the baby all along but also you would really love shopping for the new one beforehand.Gives you all sorts of emotions!!

1.Baby clothing

Its always best keeping the baby warm.So,I would suggest newborn sized rompers.

As you don’t know the gender of the baby in India beforehand,better buy gender neutral colours if you are specific in regards to colour.But you can’t resist the cute onesies no matter what the colour,trust me!

  • Rompers/onesies-4
  • Baby caps-2
  • Mittens-2 pairs
  • Socks-2 pairs

2.Baby wraps-2

Baby wraps are separately available in the market.

If you aren’t pro buying the wraps,small sized thin towels can be used too.

The agenda is keeping the baby warm.

3.Baby towels-2

Buy soft towels for the baby.we don’t wanna harm that sensitive skin,right?

4.Baby toiletries

You would really be surprised by the brands and types available exclusive to the babies.

I would recommend that you research on what product to buy atleast 3 months before the due date.

  • Baby body wash/soap
  • Massage oil-not exactly needed at the hospital but you never know when your ‘old advisor’ would wanna massage the lil one.


  • Baby powder

Make sure its not too scented,babies tend to be too sensitive.

You don’t know what might trigger allergic reaction in the baby.

And avoid the vaginal area in the female baby.

5.Nappy pads

Have a big pack of nappies ready for the lil one.

You have no idea how many times the lil pooper’s gonna keep exploding.

6.Baby blanket

You gotta buy hypoallergenic,soft and warm blankets.


Apart from this you would find handwash,newspapers,snacks pretty useful.

Come what may I’m sure you will not forget your cellphone and its charger.

Amirite? 😉